The Magic of Your Mindset

Anyone who knows me understands that I am pretty much all about mindset and the power and influence it exerts over our lives, our reality and, most of all, our well-being. 

Truth be told, if you don’t have a handle on your mindset, your thoughts just take over, and it becomes harder and harder to live the life you dream about. This is because your thoughts actually create your reality, which makes your thoughts the foundation of your mindset.  

Have you ever thought about what kind of mindset you have? Simply bringing awareness to that throughout the day is hugely impactful, and it can begin to help you shift your mindset. 

So, how would you describe yours? Are you optimistic? Generous? Anxious? The fact is that all of these examples fall into one of two categories: growth or fixed. And if you don’t know yours yet, that’s okay! Let’s get started exploring together.

Twin Mindsets

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck wrote a book called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, which discusses these two mindsets. According to Dweck, people with a growth mindset tend to believe that intelligence and talents can be developed—and even enhanced—over time, and they understand that abilities can be developed. 

They are also more solutions-focused, easily adaptable and flexible. They tend to have healthier relationships, and they are more apt to find the flow state in life. These people often perceive life through the lens that everything is possible, and they remain open to different perspectives and ways of thinking. Ultimately, they look towards expansion, learning and growth. They believe the world is limitless (which it is, by the way) and that opportunities are all around us! 

People with fixed mindsets, on the other hand, tend to believe that your intelligence is static and that if you aren’t good at something, you’ll probably never be good at it. People with fixed mindsets also tend to believe you either have it or you don’t when it comes to abilities and talents. They’re the type to essentially say, “This is my lot in life,” and not be able to see past the current situation. They often have one-track minds—there is only one way to get to a certain destination—and be unreceptive to other ways of thinking, opinions and suggestions.  

One thing that is important to mention is this: Feelings of fear, tension, stress, low self-worth and limitations tend to accompany a fixed mindset. The good news, though, is that we each have the ability to change our mindsets. So, if after reading this, you realize, “Wow! I have been existing all this time with a fixed mindset,” and you don’t like that, then you can always change it. Don’t believe me? You should because it’s exactly what I did.

Putting Theory Into Practice

If you have read any of my other blog posts, follow me on social or get my e-letters, you know that, for a long time, I was the epitome of a fixed mindset. Yes, me!! Can you believe it? Sometimes I can’t either, but I am glad that I had that experience because it keeps me grounded and reminds me that that was a place that I never want to go back to. It was a place of fear, shame, constant stress and fight/flight mode. It was a place of low self-esteem and anxiety and doom-and-gloom. It was a mindset that fed me an outlook of, “Woe is me,” “What did I do to deserve this,” and “Why does everyone else have it better?” 

It was not a fun place to be. 

But…as I began to grow and evolve, I slowly started to go inside and ask myself questions such as: 

• Why do I believe there are no other options?
• Where does my belief system about who I am come from?

When I realized that much of my belief system came from the way people perceived me, the way I thought people perceived me and the stories I told myself about myself based on that information, it dawned on me that that was all just information…but no facts. I mean, sure, it was a fact that I was a female and that I had a certain eye color. But the things like, “People don’t like me,” “I am not smart or capable of more,” “I can’t do things the way others can,” “I must not be a good person,” “This is just the way I was born,” etc.—well, what made those things true? NOTHING!!! 

Moving From Fixed to Growth

The things that prevent people from transitioning to a growth mindset out of a fixed one are numerous. But two particularly powerful ones that I notice over and over again in my practice are:

• The belief that it is not possible to change. How many times have you heard someone say, “Well, this is just the way I am”? 
• The hard work that it takes to change over to a growth mindset. And, I am not here to lull you into a false sense of reality. It is hard work. There is no doubt about that. It is also worth it. 

The problem is so many people give up before they get there, so they either tell themselves that it is too hard, or that it’s not that great on the other side. (Spoiler alert! They only think this because they haven’t gotten to the other side yet.) Sometimes, they just don’t see a pathway there. 

But the thing about change is that it’s happening every day whether we want it to or not. We are constantly growing and changing, so we might as well decide if we want to be the captain of our ship and guide the change, or if we want to let someone else chart our course. In this case, by someone else I am referring to our lower selves, our external environment, past programming and narratives and cultural beliefs that have been ingrained in us on a cellular level.  

I know my choice. Do you know yours?